The Terrors of TV

Almost everyone I know is aware of the fact that I generally don't watch TV- I didn't have a TV in my apartment this past year, I didn't have "a show" my senior year of high school while I was at UNCSA... I DID however, watch American Idol and America's Next Top Model in middle/high school on and off.
My mother was excited for me to watch American Idol with her tonight. There were only 4 contestants left and they sang two songs each, so I was totally down for that. No big deal.
BUT- here is the real reason I don't watch TV... after Idol was over, I had to hit that Guide button and see what else was playing. And of course, my ultimate soft-spot: Next Top Model.

I remember from a young age my aunt said that I should be a model. I never really took it to heart; I've always had my family say I was pretty or beautiful, and once you hear it so much from them (and not really anyone else), it's hard to believe. But I did pursue acting, which doesn't really require great looks, just bearability and a decent personality.

But damn, every time I watch Next Top Model, there is this little part inside of me yearning to be on that show. I have the energy, the charisma, the lack of a piss-poor attitude or diva-ness, the emotion, the ability to relate to a story, the understanding of marketing... and the height (although I'm about 1/4" too short, but who is counting?). I look kind of average/normal, which is a problem, but I do have big soulfull eyes.

So there it is. One of the main reasons I stopped watching TV is because I was sick of yearning and wanting to be a model and actress. Sick of watching these shows and thinking, "I could totally do that 100 times better."
People say follow your dreams... Years ago, my dream was to have a normal life. I'm not sure what normal really means, but my current self says that it means I need to get over myself and graduate from college before making up crazy life goals like modeling and acting.

TV, how I love and hate you so.

Curtis OUT.