Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Common Sense Fashion

The greatly anticipated blog post is here- Originally conceived in the "World Coffee" coffee shop in downtown Asheville between myself and Nick, I am finally typing out some of the noticed fashions that need to go away. FOREVER.


  • Animal print anything: It has never been cute or fashionable. Ever. In all time. You are imitating a dead animal; what is less sexy than that? 
  • Camouflage on non-military persons: You are offensive. Please don't wear purple camo pants with a twill military cap and a Juicy Couture shirt. You are only camouflaged in groups of 7, 8, and 9-year-old girls who are still wearing brightly colored legging-pants and clashing shirts. 
  • Skunk hair: If a bunch of horny skunks invaded a wig shop... No, really. Why would you do this to yourself? Do you really want a skunk to track you down and hump your hair?
  • Dressing inappropriately for the weather
    • If it is raining, wear actual shoes. Don't wear Uggs- they are not water resistant. Don't wear heels- you will slip and hurt yourself. Don't wear flats- if you step in a puddle your shoes/feet will be submerged. Duh. 
    • Uggs and shorts. WTF. (I can make exception for actual dancers, ballet particularly- I think they like to keep their feet 'warmed up' between dance classes/rehearsals and warm boots are a great way to do that.)
    • And what is up with wearing wool hats in the summer time? I can understand if you're camping at night and want to keep the chills away, but when you're on the quad playing frisbee? Really?
    • I know you think that Calvin Klein 3/4 length sleeves "jacket" is cute, but really- it is 35 degrees outside, with a hefty breeze- put on some clothes! You are making me cold just watching you stand there as you text.
    • In honor of my brother, although I don't follow this rule: Sandals and long pants- they are contradictory. Are your feet less sensitive to cold than your legs... or what?
  • I don't have the notebook that we wrote down the other things, but I thought getting this down now is better than nothing :)
Curtis OUT!
(back later with more additions)

2 comments:

  1. Couldn't agree more, but add-on: Leggings without skirts. There's nothing more awkward for a guy to see than form fitting clothing on a form that doesn't need to be seen. It's not even sexy, it's just weird. Leggings are great, but make strange shapes and folds when worn alone. Please, let them stop.

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  2. Sandals with long pants... I'll never surrender!

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